


Please Let Elias Smoke He Deserves It

by voice_of_the_forest



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: A bit fluffy?, Alcohol, Crack Treated Seriously, I mean you try sharing a body with someone for twenty years, Implied Sexual Content, It's literally just weed, M/M, Panic Attacks, Possession, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Jokes, i guess?, i just think they're neat, they're friends though, they're nice to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voice_of_the_forest/pseuds/voice_of_the_forest
Summary: What happens when an eldritch horror loses control of his host body? The host takes over and smokes weed, of course.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard & Jonah Magnus, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 121





	Please Let Elias Smoke He Deserves It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Magiciseverything](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magiciseverything/gifts).



> So, this started as a conversation with my friend, and then I just. Couldn't stop writing. Also note, this is supposed to take place in season 3, but like, before Jon comes back. But that really doesn't matter to the story, I guess.

Elias Bouchard is a prisoner of his own body. He isn’t really sure how it happened, if he’s honest. One minute he’s working, and the next he’s no longer in control, the spirit of his once boss taking the wheel, and shoving him into a dark corner. As it turns out, his boss had been the centuries old founder of the very place in which he worked. And now, Elias is the boss, the founder continuing to head the Institute. Elias tried fighting it, at the beginning, but his shouts were quickly quieted.

It’s not all bad, really. He mostly just sits at his desk, Watching. Elias, of course, cannot see the same things that Jonah does, but he does get the impression of those images Seen without being there to look. And, you know, Elias hadn’t been gay before he was no longer him, but he honestly could not complain about what Jonah would sometimes engage with. It turns out that the human body is more than willing to have such things done to it.

He does, however, really miss weed. Jonah doesn’t give in to the cravings, even though they’re there, embedded in the very cells of the body they share. Over the years, Elias has gotten quite good at getting Jonah to hear him. “Can we _pleeaassse_ smoke?” he would ask, and he’d always get some variation of “No” in reply. Jonah is no fun. The only fun thing he does is have sex, and sometimes drink, but he’d never get drunk. What a bore. He’s so borrriinngg. The very least Jonah could do is let Elias feel what it’s like to be high again. It has been decades. Decades of being essentially possessed by some used-to-be-human eldritch horror, and not once has he smoked weed. Like c’mon, it was his body first, give him _something_ to make up for the whole ordeal.

Well, as it turns out, there is a reason that Jonah does not drink much. After so long, it finally happened; Jonah decided to properly unwind. He and Peter Lukas ended up having a fight, their biggest one yet, and Jonah got furious.

“HE’S A FUCKING PRICK”

‘ _Yeah, he really should treat you better._ ’

“I’M GONNA KILL HIM”

‘ _Hm, you’ve killed enough people. How about some drinks instead? Have a bit of fun, unwind some?_ ’

“No, no, alcohol isn’t the answer.”

‘ _Neither is murder, not right now at least. We have some bottles of Merlot in the cupboard, right? How about just a glass? Maybe a hot bath?_ ’

“I- Yes. Yes, that actually sounds quite nice.” So a bath was drawn, and a bottle of wine, a glass, a tub of cookie dough ice cream, and a spoon were grabbed. A full pint and half a bottle later, and Jonah decides to continue talking.

“I know he’s an avatar of the Lonely, but that doesn’t excuse him saying any of that.”

‘ _Yeah, that was a total dick move._ ’

“I understand the distancing, of course. I knew what this relationship would entail since before it started.”

‘ _But that doesn’t mean he can be an arse._ ’

“Exactly! God, it’s so infuriating. I could kill him.”

‘ _No more killing, please. It’s very unpleasant to watch. Besides, his family funds the Institute, remember?_ ’

“Of **course** I remember. I just. Gah!” He downs the rest of the glass, then proceeds to grab the bottle beside him and take a long drink from it.

‘ _Yeah, ‘course you do. Hard for you to forget stuff. Sorry._ ’

“No, it’s not you. It’s him.”

‘ _Hm. You know. This is really the first time you’ve talked with me. You usually ignore me._ ’

“To be fair, most of your commentary is about how you want to be high.”

‘ _Okay, fair._ ’ There’s a long silence, during which the rest of the wine is downed, and the tub is left abandoned. Jonah doesn’t bother thinking before he grabs another bottle from the cupboard, opening it quickly and taking a swig.

“So, what now?”

‘ _You’re asking me? Well, I’d suggest weed, but since you’re so opposed, more ice cream? I think there’s another pint in there._ ’

“I’d rather not. Bad for the body.”

‘ _Fine. Then, I don’t know, watch some porn?_ ’

“Not interested.”

‘ _Right, cuz you’re only interested in Pe-_ ’

“Enough! That’s. That’s quite enough. I’d rather not think about him for the rest of the night, if you could allow me that.”

‘ _Sorry. I was just teasing. My bad. What about a movie?_ ’

“Cinema bores me.”

‘ _God you’re so boring. Can’t you just, I dunno, let yourself watch some mind numbing television so you don’t have to think about anything?_ ’

“Afraid not. I could entertain myself with the Archivist’s dreams.”

‘ _What about me then? I can’t see any of that._ ’

“What a shame, really. More wine it is, I suppose.” And so the second bottle went in relative silence, and Elias could feel Jonah’s grip loosen a little. Not a lot, but enough for Elias to be the main driving force behind the decision to grab a third bottle of Merlot. Everything was starting to get fuzzy at the edges, and it became quite clear that they were drunk. Finally, a bit of fun.

“I miiiiiss him.”

‘ _Peter? Why? He’s an arse._ ’

“Yeah but he’s **my** arse.”

‘ _Ah, gross, c’mon. Being all mushy now? Really?_ ’

“Don’t pretend like you don’t miss him tooooo. I know you like it when he’s around. When we have sex.”

‘ _Ah, well, that is. A body has needs, you know?_ ’

“Hehe, I do Know.”

‘ _Oh my god. A pun? Jonah Magnus making a pun? Surely it must be the end of the world._ ’

"Oh, not yet. Not the end yet.”

‘ _You are. Insufferable like this._ ’

“Don’t act like you don’t like my jokes. I Knoowwwww you doooo.”

‘ _Maybe it’s because you’re letting yourself have some proper fun for once. Because honestly, you’re a bit of a prick. At least you’re tolerable like this._ ’

“I thought you just said I’m insufferable?”

‘ _Oh my god I wish we didn’t share a body so I could hit you._ ’

“I could hit us for you.”

‘ _Just shut up._ ’

“Your fond tone of voice suggests you don’t really want me to.”

‘ _Just drink some more. Busy your mouth with something else._ ’

“Drinking wine is not what I’d prefer doing with my mouth right now.”

‘ _Oh gag. Gross._ ’ And so passes the third bottle of wine. Most of it, that is. They couldn’t finish it before Jonah blacked out, and Elias would’ve as well, had he not been able to slip in some semblance of control. The shared body is still awake, but with Jonah incapacitated, and Elias still shoved in a corner, they just lounge there on the couch. However, Jonah did happen to drop all his defenses. He left a door open, and all Elias had to do was find it, and then he could take over for a bit. It takes most of the night for Elias to finally find his way to having control. For the first time in twenty years, he could move his body of his own accord.

Naturally, the first thing he does is borrow Jonah’s ever so helpful Knowing power to find his way to some weed, and a lot of it. It’s really quite nice to have actual money to throw around. Once he manages to ensure that he will be able to smoke, the shared body gives out in exhaustion. When they finally awake, Jonah notices first the incredibly painful hangover. Ten minutes later, he notices that he can’t move. Only then does he notice that there is something very wrong.

‘ _Elias, what’s going on?_ ’

“‘Morning, Jonah. You blacked out.”

‘ _Yes, what I mean is what is currently happening, not what happened last night._ ’

“Oh, that. Well, you see, you made it easy for me to take over. Really wish it wasn’t because of alcohol. My head is killing me.”

‘ _Take over. Right. Well. I’m sure you’ve had your fun. I’ll be taking control again._ ’

“I’d like to see you try, old man. There’s no way you could with this hangover. And with what I have planned for us.”

‘ _What you have planned._ ’

“Yep. I went and got us some of that good stuff. We are getting high today.”

‘ _We have an Institute to run. You can’t just push that to the side and ignore our responsibilities._ ’

“I’m not gonna ignore all that. Listen, if I can get through college courses high as a kite, I’m sure I can handle some paperwork. Especially with you in the back of my head.”

‘ _Elias, I’m warning you. Let me take control._ ’

“Or what? You can’t possibly threaten me. You’ve used up all your tricks, used them to get me to shut up all those years ago. Besides, after what happened, I think you deserve it. And I certainly want it.” Jonah said no more after that, simply brewing in agitation as Elias got them dressed, grabbed the weed that he spent too much money on, and somehow managed to get them to the Institute, to their office, without raising any suspicion. He had to admit, he was almost proud of Elias’ ability to mimic the mannerisms his employees expected of him. Once that office door closed, however, all sense of decorum was dropped, starting with a tie on the floor and feet on the desk.

“You know, I really don’t think we need to be here today. I would’ve been happy to stay home and continue our fun from last night.”

‘ _Yes, but we do need to be here. You know that._ ’

“Yeah yeah. Hm. We won’t be bothered for a bit here, right?”

‘ _There is no one who intends to come here, or otherwise contact us, for at least the next few hours._ ’

“Perfect.” With that, Elias expertly rolled a blunt and began smoking, still lounged haphazardly on the office chair. The effects were quite immediate, with it having been so long since the last time he smoked. It was blissful. That first blunt went perhaps a bit too quickly, and by the time that a second one was started, only a bit of the necessary paperwork had been done, and Elias was quite unfocused, though he still managed to keep a strong grip on his bodily control. He was not about to screw this up. Jonah, on the other hand, was having a very difficult time concentrating on anything. He’s never experienced anything like this, the way his mind drifted like clouds, swept along by an unseen breeze. That changed when he found himself looking just meters outside of the office, where Martin was anxiously making his way towards the smoke filled room.

' _Elias, open a window. Now. Martin’s nearly here._ ’

“Huh? Wait. Wait what do ya mean nearly here?”

‘ _I mean he’s talking to Rosie right now._ ’

“Fuck. You couldn’t’ve given me more warning?” The window is very hastily opened.

‘ _I didn’t notice until just now. It’s really your fault._ ’ Rosie’s voice chimes over the intercom, announcing Martin’s arrival.

Elias presses the button. “Right now isn’t a great time. Could you ask him to come back later?”

“He says it’s urgent, sir.”

‘ _Fuck._ ’

“Ah, if it’s urgent, then let him in.” A moment of tense silence, and then Martin walks in.

“So I was going over-” He stops suddenly, hand quickly snapping up to cover his nose, and his eyes look up from the casefile in his hands to the state of his boss. Elias Bouchard, a man usually so composed, is standing before Martin, hair a mess, eyes bloodshot, tie on the floor and shirt unbuttoned, with a hastily snuffed blunt on his desk. The open window was unable to do anything about the stinging smoke that fills the office.

“Um. Bad time?” Martin asks quietly, trying quite hard to not laugh at the absurdity of the scene.

“Quite.” Elias gave a small cough to clear his throat as he tried to remember how he’s supposed to act. “You, uh, said it was urgent to see me though. So. What is it?”

“Well. I was looking at the files for statement numbe-” And that’s where Elias zones out. He doesn’t hear another word until his name is called.

“Huh? Oh, ah…”

‘ _Don’t worry, I was paying attention still. Tell him to contact the subject’s mother, her number is in the file, and that Diana should be able to help with the rest._ ’

“Ah. Contact the uh, the subject’s mother. And then, Diana can- can help with the rest.”

“Oh, okay, thank you. Well. I’ll just, get out of your hair then.” Martin leaves almost too quickly, but really, he can’t be blamed for that; the smell in that room was quite overpowering. Elias relights the blunt and unceremoniously collapses on his chair. After starting the third one, he’s begun to realize that he’s made a mistake. He can feel that bubble of panic start to settle and expand in his chest. Jonah notices it, too.

‘ _Put it down. Please. I’d rather neither one of us experience a panic attack._ ’

“It might be too late.” He does put the blunt out, but that bubble is still there. Then he feels something else. Someone is talking about him. There are people talking about him. The bubble grows. It swells and expands and it bursts. There’s people talking about him there’s people talking about him there’s peop-

‘ _ELIAS. Calm down. It’s just Martin and Tim._ ’

“They’re talking about me. About us. They’re-”

‘ _THEY are saying nothing bad. Do you want me to tell you what they’re saying?_ ’

“Please.”

‘ _Martin told Tim about him walking in to see us high, and Tim initially responded as if he’d been told a joke. When he noticed it wasn’t, he said it was nice to know that you, we, know how to have fun and relax in such a normal, and human, way. Martin agreed, saying that he’s relieved to learn that even we aren’t exempt from such simple pleasures._ ’

“That’s it?”

‘ _Yes, that’s it. They’re, rather supportive of this choice of recreation._ ’

“That’s good. That’s good to know.” Already that bubble has shrunk to something so small. Unfortunately, it has moved from his chest to his stomach. Fortunately, there’s a waste basket in the room. As Elias retches, Jonah offers small words of support, of comfort.

‘ _Perhaps we should go home. We haven’t gotten any work done, and, as you mentioned earlier, it’s not incredibly necessary for us to be here._ ’

“Yeah. I think. I think we should go.” A few minutes are spent regaining composure, and some more to tidy up a little, and when Elias walks out of the office, he quietly informs Rosie that he isn’t feeling well and will be taking the rest of the day off. Then, he goes home. On Jonah’s insistence, Elias eats, despite still being nauseous. He still feels really off, like he has an aftereffect filter on, but Jonah helps him navigate the flat without bumping into anything. They decide that maybe some mind numbing television is in order, at least until the high starts fading.

Some hours later, and they’re mostly back to normal. Jonah has long since decided that he’ll let Elias have control for the rest of the day, seeing as he’s really gone through so much. And really, it’s the least he can do. However, he starts to regret the decision when they have an unannounced visitor. One who can simply walk into the flat. Elias is sprawled on the couch when that imposing figure arrives.

“Oh. Hello, Peter. Can’t say we were expecting you.”

"We?”

"Hm, yeah, afraid you’re currently talking to the Elias that was here first. You made Jonah quite upset. He actually went and got drunk.”

‘ _Elias please be quiet and let me handle this._ ’

Peter considers Elias’ words for a moment. “Can he hear me?”

“Loud and clear, big man. He just can’t talk back, but I’ll do that for him.”

“Well, first, I would like to apologize. What I said was unwarranted.”

“Thank you. And yeah, you were an arse, but honestly, so was Jonah. Just not quite as much.”

“Second, I was planning on making it up to him.”

“Oh. Ahem, well that can, uh, wait for later. I guess. Um. In the meantime, are there ah, any questions you’d like to ask, anything you’d like to know about Jonah, something he’d never admit aloud?”

“How does he actually feel about me?”

‘ _Don’t you dare._ ’

“Do you really have to ask that? That argument made him upset enough to down nearly three bottles of wine. He, quite honestly, loves you.”

‘ _ELIAS._ ’

“Does he now?”

“Yeah, I mean, why else would he continue to put up with you? Besides, you should’ve heard him last night, when we were drunk. And, I mean, we’re linked, sharing the same body, you know? You get to know someone rather well this way.”

“Can you let him be in control now?”

“Oh. Um. Right. Well. See, the thing is, he’d planned to let me be in charge for a little while longer, and, well, um.”

‘ _We can negotiate. I can take over again, earlier than planned, and, in exchange, we’ll smoke whenever you want. Just not as much as you did today. Do we have a deal?_ ’

“If that’s the case then-”

“Wait! Ahem. The two of us reached an agreement. You can have your husband back now.” There’s a moment’s pause as Elias lets himself let go of control, feeling Jonah reach forward to grab the reins. It’s easier for them like this, anyhow. “There we are. You wouldn't believe what he put us through today.”

“You’re back to normal?”

"Quite. Now, you said something about ‘making it up’ to me?”

“Is he still, there?” Peter’s hesitation is quite amusing to both Jonah and Elias.

“Oh yes, but he doesn’t mind at all. In fact, I believe we’re both looking forward to what you have in mind.”

‘ _Shut up. He doesn’t need to know that._ ’

“That so?”

“Yes. Now, quit stalling and get to it. Unless you want me getting upset again?” Peter doesn’t respond, and instead moves towards the couch, to the small form waiting there. It really is easier for Elias like this, letting Jonah be in charge. Afterall, it’s been like this for twenty years. Hopefully, Jonah does keep his promise of occasional smoking, but Elias suspects he will. It was a pleasant experience for both of them, until, of course, the panic attack. Speaking of pleasant experiences, that argument really was made up for during that evening. Elias hadn’t been gay before, but he can’t complain about feeling that good.


End file.
